The Real Slim Shady
May I
have your attention please?
May I
have your attention please?
Will the
real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat
will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're
going to have a problem here
Ya'll
act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all
on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
started
whoopin her ass worse than before
they
first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It's the
return of the
"Oh wait, no way,
your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did
he?"
And Dr Dre said
....Nothing you idiots
Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women love
Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka
Slim Shady I'm sick of him
look at him, walking
around grabbing his you know what
limpin' to you know
who "yeah, but hes so cute though"
Yea I probably got a
couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than
what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get
on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its
cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
my bum is on your
lips, my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you
might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message
that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to
know what a womens clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know
what intercourse is
by the time they hit
4th grade,
they got the discovery
channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but
mammals; well some of us cannibals
who cut other people
open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump
dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason
that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I
feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your panty
hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...
Chorus:
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim
Shady...
Please stand up,
Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim
Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim
shady...
Please stand up,
Please stand up, Please stand up
Will Smith don't gotta
cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him
and fuck you too.
You think I give a
damm about a Grammy?
Half of you critics
can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if
u win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can
just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here
next to Britney Spears.
Shit, Christina
Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to
Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue
over who she gave head to first.
Little bitch put me on
blast on MTV
"yeah he's cute
but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
I should download her
audio on mp3
And show the whole
world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)
I'm sick of you little
girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here
to destroy you
And theres a million
of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a
fuck like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act
like me
It just might be the
next best thing
But not quite me
(chorus)
I'm like a headtrip to
listen to
Cause I'm only giving
you
things you joke about
with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is
I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
And I don't gotta be
false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic
and spit it
And whether you like
to admit it (rip)
I just shit it better
than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how
can kidz eat up these albums like valiums.
Its funny cuz at the
rate im going when I'm 30
Ill be the only person
in the nursing home flirty.
Pinching nurses asses
when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking
But this whole bag of
viagra isn't working
And every single
person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin at
Burger King spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot
circling
Screaming I don't give
a fuck
With his windows down
and system up
So will the real
Shady, please stand up
and put one of those
fingures on each hand up
and to be proud to be
outta your mind and outta control
and one more time,
loud as you can, how does it go?
(chorus)